Change starts inwards.

Many people struggle with body image. For some people, it's a phase that they go through in their teens, and subsides somewhere around the time that they reach adulthood and move their attentions to other things. For others, body image is like a disease, interrupting much of their life. And for some in each of those groups, body image plays a role in changes both positive and negative. 

Now in my life, I would never describe myself as ever being fat or ugly because I know that I never was nor am I now. But there were many times that I did get on myself because I felt like I wasn't as pretty as other people, or as skinny. Sometimes that did plague me with self-defeating thoughts of "maybe you just shouldn't eat" and the thoughts certainly contributed to radical changes in my appearance; I was constantly experimenting with my clothing and hair. 

I would argue that MOST people feel this way about themselves at some point.

Somewhere around my heaviest weight, when I had the most self-defeating thoughts and felt the least "pretty" I decided that I needed to make changes. I took a look at the things contributing to the negativity, and more than the issue of getting down on myself, I just was not taking care of myself. I was eating out at greasy diners and bars 3-5 nights a week, and didn't have a schedule for meals. I was drinking lots of beer. And I wasn't working out. I didn't sleep at normal times: I'd get only about 4-5 hours at night and take an hour nap during the day. I ate about 8-12oz of high-calorie, high-fat ice cream daily, sometimes twice a day. Looking back, my calorie intake was 2500+ in high fat foods with little nutritive value outside of keeping me from falling asleep. 

I'm not saying that these choices are terrible for everyone, but for me they weren't just causing me to gain weight, they were distracting me from a bigger issue. If I feel down on myself, maybe there's a reason. Maybe it's bigger than feeling unattractive and fat. Maybe I felt those things about myself because I wasn't doing the things to take care of myself and my confidence. Not to get all "Dr. Phil" on you, but if you don't take care of yourself, how can you care for others properly? How can you expect others to care for you? 

So I started small. I got a gym membership and worked out a little each week. I swore off fast food. I ate ice cream only twice a week. Slowly, more than weight coming off, I had more energy. I had more energy AND I was sleeping at night. I felt more confident and more fulfilled in my days. And soon, I stopped being so self-defeating, despite looking quite the same: The change happens first inwards before it can happen outwards. 

Now, it's been a little under 3 years since I've started working on myself. I've had ups and downs: severe weight fluctuation, slip-ups in my workout routines, changes in eating and sleeping behaviors and some bad moments of feeling depressed. But I can tell you this, the times that I started to slip were the times that I stopped taking care of myself and became distracted by other people. Always remember that other people's progress with themselves is personal. Use it for inspiration but remember that what works for some won't work for others and sometimes the healthiest routes are the slow ones. 

Remember, you're not perfect. I'm not perfect. But that's what is so wonderful. The journey towards change. It happens constantly and it's a beautiful thing. 

All that sappiness to say: You're allowed to have goals and celebrate when you reach them. From three years ago to today, I've lost over thirty pounds. I can bench press more than my weight, squat the same and I completed my first half-marathon in October, despite an injury. I sleep at night. And really, I am happy. 

Sometimes, you have to live for yourself and everything else will fall in line behind it. 

What advice do YOU have for people struggling with weight or body image? What things have worked for you?

Vegetable Pot Pie

I wouldn’t consider this recipe a health food by any means, but I would definitely say it has a way of making life a little better. It warms the insides and is a good, hearty favorite when you are feeling down. Thus, I decided to make it: The weather here in San Francisco is chilly and deserving of a classic warm meal.

For crust:
2 cups unbleached flour
1 tsp salt
½ cup water
⅔ cup shortening

In a large bowl, combine flour and salt. Once well combined, add shortening and beat with a hand mixer, on low, until the mixture is crumbled. Slowly add water while mixing with a spoon or rubber spatula. You may not need the full ½ cup of water; The mixture will be tacky but you will be able to form a ball with it. The mixture should not be watery.

Split the dough in half, making two separate balls. With one, roll it out to fit the bottom AND the sides of your pie dish. Set other ball aside. (I like to put the remaining dough in the fridge so it doesn’t sit in the warm kitchen getting gooey!)

For filling:
2 tbsp EVOO
1 Medium-Sized Red Onion, Chopped
4 Cloves Garlic, Minced
1 cup sliced carrot
1 cup diced celery
3 red potatoes, cubed
½ cup chopped white mushrooms
½ tbsp parsley
2 tsp nutritional yeast
2 Cups Water
1 tsp turmeric
½ black pepper
1 tbsp arrowroot
2 tbsp unbleached flour

Preheat oven, 350 degrees.

In a large skillet on medium heat, add chopped onions and minced garlic with the EVOO. Heat until translucent.

Add carrot and celery and cook until vegetables are tender, not mushy. Then you can add the mushrooms and red potato. I like to add these last because I like my vegetables to retain firmness before going into the oven- the potatoes and mushrooms will retain the seasoning better this way.

Once your potatoes start to become tender, add the water, parsley, turmeric, black pepper, and nutritional yeast. Simmer for about two minutes. Add the arrowroot  and flour (this acts as a thickening agent.) Simmer for 5-10 minutes until the mixture has thickened. Remove from heat.

Add your filling to the pie crust. The filling will heap in the center. Roll out the remaining pie crust dough, and place on top. Pinch the edges of the top crust to the crust from the sides.

Cook until golden brown and flaky, 35-40 minutes.

Let the pie cool for about five minutes before cutting into it. I made the mistake of diving in right away and got a crumbled (yet still delicious) mess on my plate!

Enjoy!

Taco Tuesday

My husband and I have a favorite meal. Luckily for myself, it's simple yet delicious every time. Plus, there are so many different ways to prepare it. Tacos. Tacos in many shapes and sizes. Living in San Francisco has only fueled our obsession as there are so many amazing taquerias.

With that being said, expect many variations of tacos on a series that will be running for the next few months: TACO TUESDAY.  

Tofu Tacos with Cabbage and Jalapeño Relish

Ingredients:

1 block extra firm tofu
1 tbsp olive oil

Taco Seasoning:
1 tbsp chili powder
1/2 tbsp red pepper flakes
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp cumin
a pinch of salt

Cabbage and Jalapeño Relish:
2 cups red cabbage, chopped
2 Jalapeños, minced
2 tbsp olive oil

Method:
Drain tofu and cut into 8 strips. Before cooking the tofu, it is best to press the water from it, in order for proper texture and seasoning to occur. To press the tofu, place a stack of paper towels on a plate and lay the tofu strips across the paper towel. Then layer another stack of paper towel on top of the tofu, and weigh it down with a heavy-bottomed skillet. Allow to sit for about 10-15 minutes, the pressure of the pan will give enough weight to press the water out of the tofu. After the 15 minutes, the tofu should be moist, however yield no drainage when pressure is applied.

While the tofu is being pressed, mix the taco seasoning spices in a small bowl. 

Discard the paper towel and then cut the strips of tofu into cubes.

Toss the tofu in the taco seasoning until well-coated. In a large skillet on medium heat, heat the olive oil just until it starts to pop, reduce heat to low and add the tofu.

While the tofu is cooking, mix together the ingredients for the cabbie and jalapeño relish. Cook the tofu on low heat, stirring often to avoid burning, until golden brown and firm. 

Serve the cabbage and jalapeño relish with the tofu on fresh corn tortillas with your favorite taco additions! I enjoy a salsa and daiya cheese. The ones pictured above are served with spinach and sweet potatoes.  

What's your favorite taco topping?

I didn't disappear!

Life does this crazy thing sometimes: It happens.

When life happens, other things sometimes don't. One of them is writing about food. Another is caring about my appearance. But I can tell you what, despite those two things I love being missing from my world recently, I can assure you that my world isn't any less magical or spectacular. I will admit, I wish I had spent more time inbetween errands, unpacking boxes, and exploring my new city to take some time on the way I look-- It would probably have made me feel less frantic. I would have also enjoyed cooking at home a little more and my waistline would have appreciated it too!

But here I am, chipped fingernails and greasy hair to assure you: I've got recipes and stories galore! Stay tuned for Tofu Tacos, Cinnamon&Honey Glazed Carrots, and rantings (with ravings) about the differences between Detroit and San Francisco. 

I cannot wait to share how awesome this move is proving to be! 

West Coast Blues

I heard horror stories about apartment hunting in San Francisco and before actually seeing the city, I really just didn't believe any of them. However, after starting the search myself, I've learned that apartment hunting in the Bay Area is really hard. It's not only that I'm picky and didn't like any of the 10+ places I viewed, either. (That would be typical of me. . .) Apartment hunting requires a lot of effort. Landlords aren't jumping at YOU. They're being mobbed themselves by plenty of likely tenants.

Truth is, there's a lot of people and only so much housing. By a lot, I mean "the second-most densely populated major city in the United States." They've got people CRAMMED into a 46.9 square-mile area. It's getting to the point where homes that used to be spacious are now renovated into TINY studio apartments. 

It's not just the competition of it all that makes it difficult: The cost is insane. In San Francisco, ​I will be paying triple my current rent, more than enough to mortgage a home and get a loan on another car in my current city. 

​If all that hasn't scared you off, make sure you jump at the chance to view an apartment even if your interest in the place is minimal: the next day, the place could be gone. I found that to be true more than once. If there are some ​traits you like, you may need to take the risk despite not having everything you wanted. 

As if I didn't have enough anxiety about moving across the country: making a move like this one requires trusting a lot of people you don't know. That's why another big thing to watch out for is the dishonesty of landlords and realtors. As with most things in life, if it seems like too spectacular an offer to be real life, it probably is. There were so many places listed as having reasonable cost with amazing square-footage, only to learn: advertisements aren't always true. 

I found the best success from walking. Yes, walking: Walking around areas you've heard good things about will make you aware of the area and help you decide if it is somewhere you would like to live. Plus, it gives you the ability to ​jot down addresses that look vacant for research later in the day. 

​If you can, make apartment hunting a full-time gig. Spend a few days doing just that: hunting. I spent SO MUCH time on ​livelovely setting up alerts and favorites, making sure I was keeping up on which places were available and which ones had been rented out. 

All of that being said, apartment hunting takes great risks. However, in the end you could end up with something great. I've found a place that I think Jesse and I will be happy living with an amazing location. ​

​There are many reservations I had before searching for a new place that have now been stilled. Now comes the fun part: packing, selling old stuff and organizing!

​What are some horror stories about moving that you've heard? What things have you learned on your own while moving?

Veggie Noodles with Light Basil Pesto

Lately I've been experimenting with making pasta out of vegetables. Blame it on my attempts to cut down on bready carbs, or simply on obsession with my julienne slicer. ​

Some of my favorite veggies to make into noodles are zucchini and carrots.​ Pictured to the left, the noodles are tossed with a fresh basil pesto.

This pesto, is light AND vegan. Made with a cashew parmesan cheese, the pesto tastes great on pasta, or even mixed into a chickpea salad. 

Basil Pesto:​
2 cups (packed) fresh basil
3 garlic cloves
1/4 cup cashew parmesan
1 tbsp lemon juice
3 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp salt

​Method: pulse in a food processor until well combined and smooth. 

Zucchini and Carrot Pasta "Noodles":
2 zucchini
2 carrots
1/2 tbsp salt

Method: Slice vegetables using a julienne slicer/peeler. (The one I have been using can be bought here.) After the vegetables are peeled, place in a colander in the sink and rinse with warm, running water for a few seconds until well saturated. Once the water has drained, sprinkle them with the salt. 
Then, allow the vegetables noodles to sit in the colander for about 20-25 minutes. This is how the veg will develop a noodle-like texture. 

At this point, the vegetable noodles can be served cold or if preferred, you can add them to a pot of boiling water for about 3-5 minutes to give them a spaghetti temperature. Bear in mind, if you leave them in the pot too long, you could overheat giving the vegetables a soggy texture.​

Hope you enjoy!

What ways will you use your veggie noodles?​

The Hunt is On!

I've begun to really dig deep into what I want to do career-wise once I reach California. To be honest, I'm still quite stumped. A lot of my issue is a fear of rejection and really, my penchant for avoiding risk. But as I am in the beginning stages of my job-hunt (résumé building, cover letter writing, general web searches researching companies of interest) I've realized a big part of this that I don't enjoy is the process of selling yourself. Really, that's what the whole thing is: convincing prospective employers that you have the traits that they want. 

Sometimes the job application process makes me feel like I am begging, or that I need to lie through my teeth about my skills and re-approach actually learning something later. Instead, wouldn't it be great to be hired into a job based on character and the faith that you'll learn and grow into the position? Let's be real, I don't have any fancy work history and have made my share of mistakes, but I've seen a lot of idiots get jobs with salaries that look their nose down at mine, all the while I am knowing that I could run circles around the job if given the chance.

And how insanely pretentious and dishonest do you feel writing cover letters? I never feel like I am talking to a human. There is something absolutely robotic to introductory letters that makes job hunting even worse. Can't we just be ourselves? Does personality not matter?

Sure, I have technical skills. I am pretty good at computers and have great phone etiquette. I learn fast. But doesn't everyone say that? Sometimes I really wish all companies found some sort of skills test for human interaction: how many of YOUR coworkers would have failed that one?

So if I could write a cover letter and résumé in the way I wanted, it would probably read like the one below. Here is the (pretty) long introduction (cover) letter that I wish I could send employers. And not only send, but have be the letter that gets me the job. 

"Despite not having any specific job experience with the title of (insert job title that I've never done here) my previous experiences have provided me with the skills and traits required of such a position.As a manager of a store of over 40 employees, I learned the difference between making a plan and actually executing it. Many retail employees will often express that plans don't always get carried out and where those plans fall short, the motivation of a manager picks up the slack. Some days, you cannot anticipate moods but you can learn how to direct attitudes and short-comings into lessons learned and new ways to approach situations. Unfortunately, you can't manage every person the same way. I am great at adapting training towards the needs of individuals and am able to communicate based on personality. Sometimes it takes both a little sass and a little sweet.

I've been at what I thought was the bottom of barrel: where everyone in the company seems to be my superior, especially in my most recent position. "Administrative assistant" sometimes feels like a fancy way of saying "pretty front desk lady" and sometimes "babysitter" but I've learned that when I don't do my job to its full extent: I am more important than I thought. Sure, I'm not running the meetings, but I am the one that makes sure that they happen. I am great at logistical planning and organization: calendars are my best friend.

And maybe comparing cell phones plans for the best rate doesn't seem so exciting, but it is exciting saving $1000 a month just by asking phone companies questions that weren't asked by the last person. I know complaining about repairs incessantly to the owner of the building that our company leases our space from seems really annoying and at days makes me feel like a nag. Didn't that work eventually get done? And now, doesn't the building owner call weekly (on his own) to ask if there is any maintenance that needs to be done? I am able to assess the needs of the workplace I am in and provide solutions based upon those needs.

So really, small things do matter sometimes.

Did I graduate college? Sure did. You can ask what my degree is in and I will tell you, but first let me tell you why it doesn't matter what the degree is. I finished my degree in less time than anticipated knowing that the degree was for a field I didn't want to be in. I thought the degree was going to turn me into a world-changer by trade, but I learned too far into my schooling that it wouldn't and had two options: start from scratch or finish and learn some lessons along the way. I chose the latter. So what did I learn? Paying attention matters, learning is something that happens outside of school as well, and sleep is a necessary thing. I love to take notes, even if I completely understand what is being said and am constantly trying to learn new things. And I really like schedules and deadlines: planning your time allows for proper work/life balance. 

People sometimes look down at others for working in the food industry. But let me tell you something: if that person didn't work that job, who would serve you? My experience with the food industry taught me more things than some of my other positions did. I learned that details lead up to bigger things: if you miss cleaning a spot once, someone else will miss that same spot the next shift and then it won't get cleaned. Being rude to a customer because they're rude to you doesn't solve anything: it just makes them angry. My previous positions have taught me the necessary traits of positive-customer and client interaction. 

Every workplace has taught me a lot about the importance of communication, whether through a lack-thereof or from proper execution. I really don't believe that over-communication is a thing. I never assume. I also firmly believe that email communication shouldn't be seen as more casual than a formal letter or face-to-face interaction. There's something to the old-adage: "if you wouldn't say it to your grandma. . ."

Small parts make a big picture.

If you give me the opportunity, I will be the hardest worker you have come across, and if I don't know it-- I will learn it."

What do you wish you could say to potential employers without the fear of rejection?